Life Change

Well, after 23 years, it's time for a life change. In February of this year (a few days after Valentines no less), my wife of 23 years decided she wanted a divorce. This DEVASTATED me! After several days of emotional roller coaster riding I saw the wisdom in it. We both started communicating and sharing things that we never had done in 23 years. Needless to say, we became very good friends from this life changing event.

So, she moved into the extra bedroom and I stayed in what was now a very empty bed and room. Thus began our separation. We were renting the place and felt that it was in the best interest in the two children who were still in school that we stay until the lease ran out.

During those months there was a lot of rough times. I got the wake up call I needed and started to finally take care of myself. I started Weight Watchers, Therapy, visits with the Dr. (I dreaded them previously), work outs, and lots and lots of self evaluations. I am still defining who I am and want to be. I never did that previously - just filled the mold that people around me placed me in (parents, church, etc.). As far as the health goes, I met my first WW goal and overall, I've lost about 85 lbs since this past winter when I weighed myself and saw the heaviest I'd every been. My clothes have needed replacing, I've punched new holes in belts and in many cases had to get some new things since the old fit so bad, they tended to fall off.

We decided that the best thing to do for the emotional and mental health of our youngest was to not be nasty ex's. We are working our hardest to make sure she continues to have great parents through all of this. We aren't perfect but then who is. The divorce was granted at the end of June and we both have our own new places now. I really love my new place and it fits the new me I'm finding out that I like and want to be. She also loves her new place and it fits her really well too.

My 19 year old car was getting close to death and so I borrowed some money from myself (my stock retirement plan) and paid off some debts and paid for the transition of the divorce. Then with what was left, I bought outright, a newer car (ok, at least it was 10 years newer than my previous car). Now my son drives the 19 year old car and it's currently in need of some attention due to yet another service issue that makes the car undriveable. I love my new car and it's also something that is helping to define the man I want to be (no it's not a mid-life crisis muscle or sports car).

I'm signed up for college classes this fall and finally looking forward to school (used to dread it and all the silly things they required of you). Hopefully, with enough time, I'll finally get an Associates degree to go along with my Microsoft Certifications and other Business certifications and training I've accumulated.

So, now I'm single again and finding that it's very lonely and tough. I get so anxious to get out, see the world and experience life. This is the opposite of the man I became up until February. I've dabbled in various online dating sites and have finally settled on one. I'm at Match.com if anyone wants to check out my profile. If you have feedback as to things I should change to better attract potential dates, feel free to send it my way. I'm not looking to jump right back into marriage. I'm looking to grow my social life, go on dates, share some romance/intimacy and overall improve my mental/emotional health.

Anyway, that's the big life changes for the 1st half of 2011. I'm looking forward to more progress in the last half and for a completely new and exciting 2012.

Wish me luck (better yet, send a lot of prayers since they've got more power than luck).